My name is Sara and I’m an addict. My clean date is 5-31-19. I was born into addiction as my parents were both addicts. I started using at a very young age. What started as casually smoking and drinking turned into full blown addiction by the time I was 13. My drug of choice was more. I would do any drug I could get my hands on. As time went on my addiction got worse. I was doing anything I could to get high. When I was 19 years old I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I thought being pregnant would help me to stop using drugs but I didn’t I stopped long enough so my son didn’t have drugs in his system. When I had him I thought maybe just maybe I would stay clean and not even a month after having him I was doing drugs. I would leave him with my mom to go get high. I wouldn’t care for him as a mother should because the drugs were always more important. I was a complete train wreck. In 2018 I lost custody of my son and went to rehab. However, I did not do it for myself I did it for everyone else and ultimately ended up relapsing after 4 months of recovery. I came back home and stayed on a few months binge. Opiates was the only thing I cared about. I remember my last day using i refused to feed my child until I got my drugs. I was so ashamed. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror anymore. This time I decided to jump head first into recovery. Service work, sponsorship, meetings, step work and willingness to do this for me. I have an amazing sponsor who guides me through the 12 steps. I do service work without blinking an eye. I recovery loudly so my friends still in active addiction don’t have to suffer in silence. Through this recovery process I have gotten the honor to be a mother again not only to my first son but to my newborn. I have gotten the opportunity to be an active member of society and make amends to my hometown. I am living a life I never thought possible. It’s only because the people who believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. I thank God for narcotics anonymous. The power of a 12 steps fellowship changed my life for the better.
